
The Keys to the Kingdom of Heaven
I have found these keys to the Kingdom of Heaven, the Disciples were sent out in pairs and it was probably so that they can pray each other into the 7th Heaven using my method if they get into trouble.
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7th Heaven
Several people over the years have asked if they could pray for me, and then proceed to think about my head area in their prayer. All this does is cause a few false visions. More popular still is praying against someone, which leaves a feeling of depression which leaves as soon as the praying stops. (This led to me inventing humming hymns in order to fight depression.
I have developed a way of praying that involves praying for the whole body. After permission to pray is given, you imagine coming up through the feet of the person and up into their whole body in faith. The effect is at first laughter, and then on to an angelic plain. Here the person being prayed for can ask the Angels for a state of grace to overcome what has been troubling them or for a free holiday. A feeling of elation is left after the event. A cure can be asked for at this time.
It is possible to form a ring of Christians, all of whom pray for the person to their right. In this way all of them can reach the Heavens, not in body, but in spirit, and the feeling of elation gives new meaning to our faith. This is best used if the deceased has multiple heath problems.
Other Keys I have Found
When two sexual acts are done at the same time they often cause a religious experience, my cystitis cures webpage has two which lead to a time dilation talk with Jesus.
Particularly for homosexuals my Post Sex and Safe Sex Methods used at the same time cause a conversation with an Angel.
If there is penetration, or hands free masturbation or toy on my menstrual cramps webpage, at the same time as inner labia are pulled downwards for five minutes (slightly longer if the woman has Diabetes or is on mental illness medication.) then this causes a conversation with God.
My cystitis relief webpage earned Oxfam £1 million towards water wells from Professor Brian Cox when they showed the phenomena of time dilation at the same time. As a Christian I like to dig water wells in developing nations.
And then there is stroking the hymen for five minutes for a conversation with God, which gets young girls interested in religion. It works on reconstructed hymens too.
So improve your religious experiences with these various inventions. And say a prayer for me while you are at it!