The Low Tech Treatment of Stress
As a teenage school boy I found the ups and downs in mood to be too fast too graph as hormones raged. I had read in a newspaper that hospitals in the UK were painted green because it had been found that this colour relaxed the patients. I thought it would be a great idea to stare at a piece of green paper in order to relax myself, but green cardboard from the stationery shop had no effect. Undeterred, I tried other colours and came upon one which did relax me. I then set about testing the colours of the rainbow in the stationery shop on other people that were stressed and found that everyone has a colour of cardboard that has a soporific affect. The Tension Sheet was born. I soon carried out a test on those with high blood pressure, and found that The Tension Sheet reduced the blood pressure to lower than normal figures in just minutes and recommend that a tension sheet is carried at all times, and that a chill-out room should be painted in the right colour in every tension sufferers home. It is certainly easier to stare at a correctly coloured piece of cardboard or wall for a few minutes than the interference with breathing patterns that most mediation involves. And it has better results. The Tension Sheet was also the first treatment I invented for mental illness and cured several homeless people with it in my school town. Both their own Doctors and local Clergy verified that they were cured. The mechanism for the cure is probably that the brain is relaxed by the Tension Sheet, and thus finds it easier to sleep. Sleep experts say that most mental illness is caused by lack of sleep.
People that have been cured by the Tension Sheet say that the calming influence of it is better than cocaine. It must be noted that when use of the Tension Sheet ends, the illness can come back so I regard the Tension Sheet as a treatment rather than a cure. I recall two people who had used a Chill Out Room for so many years that they forgot that they were using the Tension Sheet Method, and had their Chill Out Room painted a different colour. If this should happen to you just print out an A4 sheet of paper in your Tension Sheet colour and frame it on your wall. Jesus Christ used to recommend praying three times a day, so I use this as the average number of times a day that the framed Tension Sheet should be used.
With most of my medical inventions the medical profession do not like them because they cannot make any money out of them by writing out prescriptions, but with the Tension Sheet bringing blood pressure to below average, they can still make money by prescribing medicine for low blood pressure. And the patient is a also a winner, I have met several that had been given ten years to live. It has been found that it is possible to go on holiday without a Tension Sheet for three weeks without any deterioration in blood pressure in one instance, but why take risks? I have not had much publicity over the years with the Tension Sheet, but actor Craig Charles got it mentioned in the 'Red Dwarf' science fiction series. How cool is that?
The Tension Sheet has been found to aid those who suffer from heart conditions and sleep conditions. And you can make this invention with just a visit to your local stationers. A donation to your local Third World charity by way of thanks would be nice.
Below are the colours of the rainbow so that you can make the preliminary Tension Sheet colour test yourself online. Just stare at each colour on the monitor for thirty seconds in order to determine which colour relaxes you.Once you have determined your colour then you simply need to test out all the shades of your colour that the painters and decorators can mix for you for your Chill Out Room.